Viki's coming out story

I have always wanted to write a post about how I came out as people often ask me. My story luckily is not a bad one, it is not a very interesting one either but who said it has to be? To each its own. And if someone finds some value in it that would be great.

 

This will be long...so brace yourself.

 

First grade all the girls in my class liked this one boy so I decided I have to like him too. But I didn't get why they liked the boy.. he was my friend and he was nice and cool but not cool enough to like him like that.

 

Then fast forward to 8th grade so around 2005. At that time there was a girl pop duo from Russia that was getting popular as a lesbian couple. Their name was TATU and they got famous because they were singing in Russian and they made one music video in which the two girls (wearing school uniforms) made out with each other. Yes... it was that lame. But hey it worked at the time as you could not see two young girls kissing each other on TV. Not in Eastern Europe at least. Why am I telling you about them? Well naturally I had a crush on one of the girls. But still... didn't think much of it. They were pretty popular after all. And growing up in Eastern Europe i didnt exactly grow up in super gay friendly environment. Nor did I know any openly gay people.

 

I started realizing that something was different and that I had tended be fascinated by women but once again - the possibility of me being gay was not even there.

 

Let's jump to 2009. I am in the States, my boyfriend of 2 years had just cheated on me and somehow i found myself in a "relationship" with a girl.My boyfriend and I were going downhill for some time now and then I met this openly lesbian, very confident girl. It all started as a drunk fling but then it escalated quite quick and although I was never in a relationship with that  girl something  clicked and I knew.

 

At first though I thought I was Bi. I still liked boys but now there was this new realm of possibilities and it was nice. It was new, it was exciting and somehow it was familiar and it felt like I was always supposed to be apart of this new world.

 

How did I come out to my family? At the time I was living in the States, while my family was in Bulgaria. I was worried what they would say but I was also so ecstatic that I just blurred it out to my mom one day...over  the phone. I don't think I even said "mom, I am gay" I just remember telling her about this girl I met and how much I liked her... Later on my mom and I had more conversations about it of course. As far as the rest of the family - it just happened. Loren and I went to Bulgaria for a visit and I just introduced her to everyone as my girlfriend.

 

Yes, I never had an official serious talk with anyone. I never felt the need to sit down and tell my family and friends " I am gay" and it was not because I was not sure, or I wasn't proud of it. for me it felt as something that is just part of who I am and I didnt have to explain it to anyone. I was worried how people would take it, I wont lie... I was worried whether my family will be ashamed of me. Once again Bulgaria is still a very conservative country and the LGBTQ society is still very much an underground thing. it is 2019 and being gay is still something that most people have never dealt with. There is still a lot of hate towards the LGBTQ community but a big part of is that not a lot of people are openly out to their close ones. Many of my friends here live a secret life as they are worried how everyone would take the news and whether they will disappoint their families. I felt the same way nut at the same time I felt happy and I wanted to share that with them, I wanted them to meet Loren and I knew they would understand. And that is exactly what happened.

 

IT definitely helped that she is a fairly like-able and nice person as I think that when your family does not approve of your partner it does not matter if they are a boy or a girl.

 

Several years later, Loren and I are expecting our first baby and although it is not biologically mine and it doesnt carry any of my DNa my mom is super excited to meet her new grandchild. My sister is stoked to be an auntie and all of my friends love my little family.

 

Like I said my story is not super crazy, dramatic and luckily I didnt lose anyway along the way. But I am very well aware that is not always the case, If I can finish with one thing is that no matter what is your situation you should always put yourself first and do what is best for you, IF you are gay, lesbian, transgender, BI or etc share it with your family and friends depsite how scary it might seem. You might be surprised by the reaction you get whether good or bad but believe me you would never regret coming out and embracing who you really are. And I can assure you that you will always find at least one person that will support you through that time.

 

Viktoriya IlichComment